Bragging Rights

I know most parents are proud of their kids; it's their job.
As a former teacher I can say without hesitation, that for the most part, parents these days are proud for all the wrong reasons or even worse, for no reason at all.
It is true, there has been a cultural shift in the people we are producing and the people who are raising them. I'm not sure why this is happening. I tend to lean towards the notion that our culture has become devastatingly narcissistic over the last 20+ years.
Why? I don't know.
People tend to value themselves a little more than is deserved; a little more than is earned. Add to the mix the instant feedback of social networking sites and sites which allow you to market anything (think YouTube) and suddenly, people feel they are deserving of a special place in history.
We have created not only a trophy generation where everyone thinks themselves entitled to a trophy just for showing up and trying (to what degree is completely subjective to the whim of the "participant") but we have created an entire generation of parents who support that mode of thinking because their identity is so wrapped up in their kids, they are devoid of autonomy.
The sad thing about all of this twisted thinking is, when you get down to the truth of it all, there are hoards of people out there missing out on living - truly living and truly being happy.
They are more concerned with everyone feeling good about themselves and feeling included (again narcissism in it's purest form) that they fail to forge new paths and discover what brings genuine joy.
The irony in all this is that only by discovering what brings you genuine happiness can you truly make others around you happy. Another benefit is others around you can learn to become happy by observing your behavior.
As the only child of two incredibly successful and civic minded parents I have struggled with my sense of value and place in this world. I have struggled with feelings of inadequacy as I have plugged along. I have struggled with what legacy, if any, I will leave behind.
Just recently, I've let that go.
I've accepted the idea that happiness isn't achieved by the accolades of others. Yes, it's nice to get props and genuine appreciation for what you do, but it shouldn't be the goal. I'm happy with my own personal victories. I'm happy when I do something well. I'm happy when I know I've made a positive change in the world and don't care who knows about it.
As a parent, it's this lesson I'm trying to teach my kids. I think they "get it."
It's the end of the school year and my daughter came home with an award from school the other day - Most Creative. I can't tell you how happy that makes me; more than Best Reader or Most Likely to Achieve, my baby is Most Creative! I know she will be able to roll with the punches with a mind like that. I think that might help set her up for a happy life.
Tonight, my oldest came in to show me he was published in his school Literary Magazine. He wrote a short piece the night he was at my Father in laws visitation.
Something there inspired these words:

Who are you?
Well, I've never heard that one before.
The BIGGER question is who do you want to be?
A leader or a follower?
A nobody or a somebody?
Well, here is how it works.
I will wait around until you figure out who you want to be.
When the time is right I'll be here so you can use me to your full advantage.
Now I'm sure you're wondering who I am telling you what to do and who to become?
To answer your question, I'm you.
I'm your thoughts actually.
I've been working with you since day one, helping you grow and learn.
There will be days when I will be pushed to my limits, then you'll know who you really are and what you're capable of.
Until then, stop looking at yourself in the mirror; you've got a test to study for.

It's not that they got an award or were published in the school magazine, who really cares about those subjective/relative moments?
My pride comes from the fact that her creative spirit is too strong to ignore and he seems to understands autonomy, the concept of work and the importance of being a person of substance.
That is what makes me proud.

I hope I'm raising kids who are able to counter-balance the deep shallowness I see in others their ages.
I know most parents see their kids with blinders on; I hope I am never that parent.

I am proud of the people my kids are.
They have incredibly great heads on their shoulders.
I don't care if they secure a spot in history.
I don't.
I know they are on a path to find their happiness and in doing so will make the world a better place, even if no one but themselves knows it.